Home |
Texts |
Next Chapter |
|---|
|
Appendix On page 51 above, I promised to relegate to an Appendix some of the more convincing evidence I have collected in support of my claim that animals can and do lie, and I shall make my account of it as brief as possible. I yield to nobody in my love of dogs and have kept them continuously for the last twenty-five years. I do not overlook the obscene and filthy behaviour of dogs, or the large proportion of their charm which is confined to their persistent appeal to human vanity; but what I most of all cheerfully acknowledge is that dogs are inveterate liars. Not one of mine has been any exception to this rule. All have shown the same tendency to try to deceive me if deception suited their purpose. For instance, every dog I have had has always tried to make me believe in the existence of some insuperable obstacle to his obeying one of my orders, if he thought that obedience would end in something less agreeable than what he happened to be doing at the time. From becoming suddenly seized with paralysis of the hind quarters, so as to make it appear that normal progression had ceased to be possible, to seeking impossible means of access to me or to his kennel, or what not, every dog I have had has always shown extreme virtuosity and resource in falsehood. I had one terrier, for instance, who, when he knew I was going to restore him to his kennel, would invariably creep round to a corner of the garden where a trellis-work screen separated him from me, and would then, with every sign of eagerness to comply with my command, thrust his nose and alternate front paws through an opening in the trellis-work in order to try to convince me that he was obviously making every conceivable effort to come to my side, but was unavoidably prevented. He knew his efforts would be unavailing and also knew that there was a perfectly easy way round to me if he chose to take it. Meanwhile his I am also a great lover of cats. Truth to tell I prefer them before dogs. But I have found them too the most painstaking and resourceful liars. To give only one instance, when my wife and I lived in a flat in London and each of us had our favourite cat whom, at night, we took with us to our bedroom, it was necessary before retiring always to make sure that each cat had done its "business." In a flat, the only satisfactory solution for providing for a cat's needs in this matter is to keep a dirt-box. We used, therefore, to put our cats on such a box every night and make sure that they had functioned. One of the cats was a beautiful and most intelligent tabby whom we called Jezebel. On a certain night, having seen her, as we thought, do her business and cover up in the sanitary feline manner (but only after we had returned her to the box again and again without result), we found to our surprise that she roused us in the early hours of the morning to be let out. This was both intolerable and mysterious, for we had both, as we thought, seen her do her duty before retiring. The following night, therefore, after Jezebel had again repeatedly refused, and we had placed her on the box for about the sixth time, we were both very much surprised to see her, with the most bored expression imaginable, go through all the motions of doing her business and methodically covering up, but without really functioning at all! And this gross and deliberate deception she tried to carry out frequently during the rest of her life. Thus, in order to be left in peace at bed time and also to humour us in what she must have thought was a tiresome whim on our part, she had lighted on a technique which was nothing but an elaborately acted falsehood! I could give many other instances of the sad lack of veracity in both cats and dogs, but the above are conclusive enough for my purpose. |
Home |
Texts |
Next Chapter |
|---|